So life goes on

and it does.

Sometimes we might feel that our life has lost something, when someone has left our immediate circle, and maybe it has, but we learn to deal with it. ( as we should)

Often times we are blessed with new additions to our circle, but it really depends upon ourselves to keep ourselves open to that possibility...

So to you, Bent Collective, I wish you well...

and to Peter, I wish you well, where ever you might be...

Namaste

I'm bit depressed

And the reason I'm depressed is an interesting one...

You might not know anything about the "GOB" and "Collective" drama that went on in the gay blogger world...

but the whole thing has upset me... Why? Because I miss reading the Bent Collective...

GOB feels like the Collective is lying about who they are and their own personal history.

GOB says that Collective is lying and these are his (GOB's) stated facts...

" Stanford doesn't offer an MPH. Like, at all." (now I did a bit of research and Stanford does offer a MPH, however it is Dual Degree program that is offered in conjunction with the University of California, Berkeley) so what is truth and what is a lie? Also, what one offers now, versus what they offered when someone got a degree could be different.

"there is no military hospital in Maui" ( again I did a bit of research and I discovered that there were two military hospitals on Maui at the end of World War II ) however I do not know what time that they closed the hospitals, were they open at the time of Steve's birth, I do know that I had friends (while I was in the army) who were stationed on Maui at a Nike Hercules site, that were closed around 1972. So it is possible that a hosital was open until then. ( however I never researched my friends claim, so that too could be a lie)

"Steve never appeared in the doco or book, “I Missed Flight 93”, a work which was painstakingly researched" (but was he interviewed?, I have been interviwed for books and documentaries but have never appeared in them, did he say he was in the book)

"it appears there was never a news story about the accident involving the death of “Sera” and her son" How would you research this?

"there was never an O'Brien in the 68 or 72 summer Olympics, nor did any male win back to back gold medals for those years, much less set an Olympics record while doing so" I attempted to do some research in this field, and I did not locate any O'Brien in these years, but maybe my research was incomplete, after all Im not going to spend my whole life doing this.

"it strikes me that the whole “secure medical feed” is overkill, since SSL works for most corporations and most government agencies. Why is a mission of mercy so much more in need of security?"
I would not know anything about this


"both steve and al have commented multiple times on my blog from the same IP address" I know that on my own little network here at home, both my partner and I have the same IP address, you have to know a lot more than I do, to change the settings to have different one. A network professional should set these things up automaticly, but an average user would not.

"many large canadian cities have their own police, but there is no national police force for canada save the Royal Mounties" (in doing a bit of research, on the Royal Mounties website, they have a department called the NATIONAL POLICE FORCE, but I do not know in what contect GOB says the collective is lying)

"Karen uses American spellings, not UK/Canadian spellings, and all three seem to make the same typos." (I use a lot of English spelling, is it because I have worked for a lot of English people, I also tend to capitalize in the German way)

"medical professionals never misspell medical terminology." (unless they were tired and blogging after a long day, everbody makes mistakes)

" Al lists 'twink bars' as a dislike of his and when Karen wrote about drug use, she referred to general big gay danceclubs as “twink bars”, a potshot of a put-down "

Anyway, I am depressed that the Collective is no longer publishing, were they lying? or is the research not complete on my part? Why did GOB feel a need to attack the Collective on his site and theirs?

Many things, I will never know the answer to and I can live with this... This post is all about getting it out of my system.

It may be a small world

but it is my world...

What I'm talking about is the "Drama" between God of Biscuits and Bent Collective...

first... some history

I used to read God of Biscuits a long time ago.. but it didnt really reach my heart.. I only read it because it was so popular... (by popular I mean it was on the link rolls of a lot of sites)

I read Bent Collective, and most of the time, (I have to be honest) it was a little bit over my head. But commonly the themes of the posts have struck my heart, and I read it as often as I have time for.

I have not gone to college, except for the classes I was interested in here and there. I've had to work all of my life, and I get tired and don't really feel like putting out that much energy.

I work at my job, and where ever I work ( except for the military) I have always ended up as the highest paid employee. Now these are not large companys, so I'm not really saying that much, except that I do like to work hard while at work.

The point of this post is say to whoever might read it here... I don't care if Steve, Al & Karen are all 1 person, or three separate people.

I don't care if Steve/Al has a degree or where they might have got it from... It is his/their writing style that says to me that they are well educated, informed and caring.

I was in the Army from 1974 to 1982, and in 1974, I was talking to friends, who had just transferred from Maui, so if he wants to say that he was born in a military hospital on Maui in the 60's... I have no real need to research it. Who really cares...

Maybe, you have to go get your MPH at Berkeley through a dual degree program at Stanford, so what? Why does it matter so much, maybe back when he got his MPH it was at Stanford, but they decided they could do a better job in conjunction with Berkeley.

I do know that when I get depressed, I don't feel like posting, and I don't feel like defending myself to someone, who has decided to not like me for what ever reason.

However, I feel like this attack on Bent Collective has taken away something good, from the Internet.

and that is why I felt like I had to say this here on my own little space in the world.

I am not attacking anyone.

Bon Voyage

So I guess you are gone now,

I understand why you didn't keep our last date.

It would have been hard on me too.

I had gotten you a present, something to remember me by,

But all you will have now is your memories, just like me.

I hope your journey, is fruitful, and you find what you have been missing

I wish you joy, love and peace where-ever the wind blows you...

Things are looking up

I just had lunch with the guy from the gym, that I had been flirting with..

Now understand that nothing is going to happen, but it always feels good, when someone you find attractive, finds you attractive.

And I think he felt good, knowing that I found him attractive.

We just talked, and got to know a little about each other, he knows I have a partner.

I think it is just nice to have someone to talk too.

He is getting ready to go to Hawaii to work on a cruise ship and then maybe back home to Minneapolis.

Feeling the Blues

Sometimes, I get a little depressed, dont know why... just do.

Sometimes I want to meet someone new, not because I want to run away and live with them, I think it is just because I want something new and exciting in my life.

When you met someone new, there is that excitement of finding out what things they like. what they dont like... and all the wonderful stuff that goes with it.

Sure they might not like some of the things you like, but there is a charge from doing new things.

After being in the same relationship for awhile, it seems like things are the same old, same old...

you don't go do this, because your partner doesn't like it...

anyway, I'm just feeling blue

Memories

So ... ya meet a guy... you flirt a bit... but nothing really happens...

(you're at the gym, a mostly straight one, and its not the city)

but you can tell, there is some interest...

now that night, or later in the week... you are home alone... and your thinking about wanking off, so you bring up in your mind's eye, this guy you met recently... but the image in your head doesnt really do anything for ya... so ya think of someone else... and finish your business...

later in the week, you run into the same guy... and you realize... damn! he is much cuter than I remember...

Superman

There is this guy at the gym, who looks like a slightly latino Superman. He is stunning, I wish I looked like him.

But we are what we are, you can only change so much about yourself, you can't make yourself taller or younger.

You can make yourself thinner or fatter, you can bulk up with muscle, but whoever you were when you started, is who you are when you're done.

Sure you can have more self confidence, but if you didnt know how to play the piano before you started, if you aren't taking piano lessons, you aint gonna know how to play the piano when you're done.

You can teach yourself the piano, but without help, its not as easy...

anyway... just a thought.